


Stand by your man

by Mendelynn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Forgiveness, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Frustration, Getting Better Together, Loyalty, M/M, Toxic Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29779728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mendelynn/pseuds/Mendelynn
Summary: Hajime's and Toru's time at Aoba Johsai and their time in the volleyball team is over. For the first time in their lives, they will have to go separate ways. Or will they?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 3





	Stand by your man

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya!  
> I've been obsessing over Haikyuu!! for the last week (Sugawara in particular, I love the guy, he's such a good mom).  
> And the IwaKawa ship just spoke to me (because the German dub of Oikawa is even gayer than the original). So this is what my brain made of it. Another case of Mendelynn expanding the canon to her liking.
> 
> Enjoy!  
> I would love to know what you think about it. So maybe leave a comment? I always reply. :)

„I knew that I would find you here.” Of course, Toru would be standing at the door of the gym looking just as lost as he himself felt.

“It’s over, Iwa-chan.” He didn’t turn around, just looked at the net, so Hajime came up to stand next to him.

“Nothing’s over. As if you’d ever give up volleyball, you dork.” The slap on the back of Toru’s head was a reaction that came without even thinking about it. Of course, the overly dramatic way annoyed him to no ends at all times but… maybe it was because he didn’t know better. Because this could have been the last time he had hit this man.

“Ow! Iwa-chan, you’re always so mean!” Toru rubbed his head and finally turned his eyes towards Hajime.

“You’re not gonna miss me then.” Maybe crossing his arms, looking angry and walking away was a good idea. Even though it broke his heart to turn away like this. There was so much they had never talked about. Things they should have talked about. Things they would never talk about if he didn’t open his stupid mouth. A hand on his shoulder held him back. Oikawa wasn’t even looking at him and still staring at the volleyball net in the middle of the gym.

“In a few minutes, the others will come and start training. Maybe they’ll make it to the nationals. Without us. Our time in Aoba Johsai… it’s over.”

Hajime tsked, because what else was he supposed to do? “You put a lot of work into that team. They’ll never be as good as they were with you.”

“There will be new members, first years. Maybe they’ll be more talented, maybe they’ll work harder. Maybe they’ll make it work. Like Tobio-chan.”

Toru smiled at him and… argh, the arrogant smile and his stupid, nostalgic words… and the old, stupid envy. Hajime grabbed his former team captain and pulled him away from the door. “That’s a lot of maybes. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Unless you want to stay as their trainer which I know for a fact you don’t. Stop being whiny and bitchy about, Dramakawa. You’ll make it to the nationals, alright. Just not with Aoba Johsai. But there will be a new team, a professional one, and you’ll bring out the best in them. No one’s ever going to stop you.”

Oikawa let himself be pulled to the lawn behind the gym. No one ever came there, they wouldn’t be seen. Because they were both not ready to leave just yet but the team wasn’t supposed to see them loitering in front of the gym door. It would make them feel guilty. So they set down their bags and sat down on the grass. It was a warm, sunny day, the ground was dry and Toru cuddled up to him as of it was the most normal thing in the world. Hajime put his arm around him because it felt so natural, so right. And it wouldn’t be long until this would only be a memory. So he would savour the last of it.

“So what are you going to do now?”

“Pfft. I won’t make professional player like you. I’m not good enough. I’ve been accepted for college and going to study sport science. Maybe I’ll become a trainer or something later on. Do you have decided where you want to go yet?”

“No, but I’ve been getting requests from a few teams. Successful teams.”

“Cool. Cool.” He had the strong urge to kiss the top of the auburn head on his shoulder but he resisted. Not here, not now. Not ever again probably. “See? You made it. Even though you’re such a lame, lazy, stupid ass.”

“You’re always so mean Iwa-chan,” Toru whined but inched even closer. “I can’t believe we’re going to be separated.”

Yes, for the first time since Hajime could remember, they were not doing things together. Oikawa would go on and probably win championships. And he would be left with the memories of what they had. “Maybe that’s a good thing.” He just didn’t have the strength to continue this… whatever it this was. “We need to move on.”

Toru cuddled even closer and… Hajime just couldn’t push him away. “I don’t want to move on. I don’t want to lose you. You’re my best friend.” And it hurt to hear him say it. But he wouldn’t let it show. He never did, no matter how many times Oikawa broke his stupid heart. So he just pushed the heavy head off his shoulder and inched away with a disdainful huff.

“We’re not friends, you ass. We’ve been fucking since we were fifteen.”

And the man had the audacity to smile at him. With this gorgeous expression on his face and the gleam in his eyes that Hajime was never able to resist. “I know. But still… that doesn’t change anything.”

“Oh no? It doesn’t change anything?” He couldn’t sit still any longer. This had been bugging him for ages and… he couldn’t believe Toru was that ignorant and stupid. Stupidkawa. “You came to me after your girlfriend dumped you bawling your eyes out and asked me what you did wrong. Well, maybe you should’ve been honest with her! ‘Hey, I’m Shittykawa, I’m all dashing and flirty and popular and charming but I also secretly fuck my teammate after matches because the only person I actually love is myself.’ At least then she could’ve left before she got involved with you at all. Have you ever stopped to think about how I feel?”

Why did Toru look at him with those big, pretty doe eyes? He wasn’t innocent, even if he looked like it. There was no way he could be surprised. “Well, I guess you liked it? I mean, you were always very proactive and eager…”

“You really don’t get it, do you? It’s a good thing that you’ll be away soon because I really can’t take this any longer.” He grabbed his back and stumped away. But of course, the dumbass would come running after him.

“Iwa-chan, wait! You can’t leave me like this!”

“Oh really? Well, watch me!” But he didn’t break into a run, he wouldn’t give Toru the satisfaction of running away.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Oikawa fell into step next to him. “You’re right. I never stopped to think about how you feel about this. I was always too focussed on myself… and my dream… and the anger that Tobio-chan was about to surpass me. But that’s all gone now. Tobio-chan surpassed me and broke my dream and…”

“So now you can focus on yourself entirely. Great. Good luck with that.” Oikawa easily kept up with his speed but it felt good to make him run. Even though they didn’t run. They just walked very fast.

“No, that’s not what I meant. You’re right, we never talked about it. And I never stopped to think about it. But we can change this now.”

“Oh look at the great Shittykawa who stops to actually think of others for once! What a marvellous event! Well then, answer me one question: why?”

There were at the bus stop, so Hajime slowed down. Toru came to stand next to him and he looked at him with these big eyes again. Sometimes, he could really look stupid. It was hard to believe that there was a genius setter hiding behind that dumbass face. The way he brought up his thumb and index finger to stroke his chin in thought did not make it better. Just more dramatic. Because if Oikawa was one thing, it was a drama queen. “Hm… they first few times were curiosity, I guess. And puberty. But it felt nice, so we kept doing it. And there is no better way to calm down after a match, don’t you think?”

“Ah, so that’s what it was. You used me to blow off steam. I see.” Hajime nodded and he didn’t know if this hurt him more than the uncertainty from before.

“I always thought you were the one blowing off steam.” The man actually had the audacity to chuckle. “You know, judging by the way you…” If Crappykawa uttered such bullshit, he couldn’t help but beat the shit out of this man. Even though that might have scared the old lady.

“Ow! Iwa-chan, that’s not fair. Why are you always so violent?”

“It’s called frustration, you son of a bitch. I’m sure you know the feeling. This is the product of being unable to refuse you and having to cater to your every need for years!” There was his bus. Finally, he was able to shake off Toru. This was not how he had expected their last goodbye to be like but maybe it was better than some other outcome.

He did not expect the Clingykawa to follow him into the bus though. “I am not having this conversation on the bus,” he warned and to his surprise, Toru just sat down next to him and kept his mouth shut.

After all this, he should want to be away from this man. He shouldn’t enjoy having the tall, handsome man next to him staring thoughtfully at the back of the seat in front of him. He should definitely not inhale the other’s scent and wish it would never leave him. But being with Toru was so much easier when the insolent mouth stayed shut for once.

They both knew the bus stop he had to get off. It wasn’t the first time, Oikawa accompanied him home. But this time, it felt different. It was different because the man still had to say something.

They were halfway through the woods before Toru spoke again. “You’re right. I’ve been an arrogant asshole the last few years.”

“You’ve always been an arrogant asshole. That’s why you don’t have friends.”

“I have many…”

“They’re not your friends, Stupidkawa. They just like that you’re popular.” It was hard to believe that this guy was supposed to be nineteen. Maybe before he went off to become an adult, it would be good to break a few of his daydreams to make him grow up. Hajime wanted him to become a better person and to make real friends there because he was stupid and always wanted the best for this idiot who obviously didn’t deserve it.

He earned a nervous laugh. “You’re probably right, Iwa-chan. No one is that honest with me. You know me better than anyone else, so why do you still stay with me?”

“Believe me, I’m asking myself that question every day.” And that wasn’t even a lie or an exaggeration. The frustration truth was that he hadn’t found an answer yet.

“I’m very lucky to have you. I really think of you as my best friend.”

“Well you don’t have many other options.”

“You’ve always been there for me, and it’s embarrassing to admit but you’re right. I’ve never been there for you. I never stopped to think about anything else but myself, my improvement and going to the nationals. I don’t know why but I felt weirdly relieved when Karasuno beat us. Even though it was the end for our team.”

“I know what you mean. I felt the same way. Winning was never as important to me as it was to you but… I liked the matches. I liked playing your passes and transforming them into points. Of course it was sad to know that this was our last official match as a team. Together. But it also felt good to know that we didn’t have to fight anymore.”

“We didn’t… you know… after that one. Maybe because I wasn’t as riled up. It’s sad that all this is in the past now.”

“Yeah. That’s in the past.” Hopefully, he didn’t sound as hollow as he felt when he said it out loud.

“And I should’ve really stopped to think about how you felt about it. But it always felt very mutual and consensual.” Familiar. Oikawa didn’t say it but that was the word Hajime would’ve used. He was going to miss this familiarity even though he knew it wasn’t good for him.

“It was.”

“But then I don’t understand why…”

“The sex wasn’t a problem!” He couldn’t believe that Toru flinched at that. Babykawa. They were both nineteen! Not thirteen or something. They should be able to talk about sex without being awkward. “Everything else was! You had a girlfriend and cheated you on her, with me. Even though you told me about her all the time. And then you visited me to cry about her when she finally dumped you. You never even stopped to think about that I, maybe, would want to be more than just a spike up your ass.” Now, he’d said it. Great. Stupidkawa was never supposed to know about it. He hadn’t even come out to his parents yet. And he was tearing up. Wonderful. This time, he actually fled Toru.

But of course Clingykawa wouldn’t let him get away. “Iwa-chan, wait. Wait!” He didn’t listen until a hand on his shoulder stopped him. A sob escaped him before he could swallow it down. It didn’t matter anymore anyway, so he allowed himself to cry properly. A soft, elegant hand cupped face. Oikawa and his stupid meticulous skin care.

“I never even considered this a possibility.” His eyes were serious and honest for once. “I guess I didn’t want to think about what we were doing. All these jokes about the girls not being interested in you must’ve been very hurtful.”

“I’ve stopped listening to what you said years ago.” It was amazing how normal his voice sounded even though tears still cascaded down his cheeks. “As if I cared about your stupid jokes.”

“Right. Sorry.” Oikawa sighed and… looked fond. That was weird. Hajime had never seen this expression on his face. “I was only thinking about myself and… the girls’ attention flattered me. I did love my girlfriend but… she left me. You didn’t.”

“We were a team. It’s not like I had a choice.”

“You always had a choice, Iwa-chan. You could’ve chosen to go to a different high school. But you never left my side. Until now. And… I don’t want you to leave.”

“But I can’t stay with you. I can’t stand this any longer.” The tears slowly dried up and they left him with new determination. “For the first time in our lives, we have to do things on our own.”

Toru pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the tears away. It contradicted everything he’s said but Hajime didn’t have the strength to stop him. “Or we could do them together. Like together together. Properly.”

The irresistible gleam was back in his brown doe eyes. They left Hajime weak every time and he couldn’t say no to them. He had never been able to withstand Oikawa’s charms. And this time was no exception. His knees were weak, his head had been emptied of tears and emotions, his belly was fluttering with enough butterflies to populate an insectarium. So he helplessly leaned into Toru’s touch and for the first time, the other caught him and pulled him close. “There will never be anyone who knows me like you do.” The smile on his lips was a real one. An honest one. Like when had gotten the prize for the best setter. As if… Hajime was just as precious to him. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you.”

And that one was just… that killed the mood. He sighed. “You’re not sorry, Cra…” He nearly choked when Oikawa kissed him. And then, nothing mattered anymore. Not the girlfriends, not the flirting, not the meaningless sex… everything he needed was right here. In these arms, in this kiss. And he clutched the body in front him to keep it in place. To stop the world from turning and himself from losing gravity. This couldn’t be real. The Shittykawa he knew would never do something like this. But this frame, this scent, these lips… he knew them by heart. Familiar. But new at the same time. They had never done it like this just… standing here on the side of the path, in the middle of the woods kissing. With their heavy bags on their shoulders and Toru’s hands on his hips. Hajime pulled him closer and kissed these lips as if his life depended on it. Maybe it did. And maybe the lack of oxygen would kill them eventually.

So the broke the kiss and he looked up, at the doe eyes and the reddened cheeks and it was familiar and new. “At least start calling me by my first name then,” he panted.

A big smile crooked Toru’s lips and he had never looked more beautiful than in this moment. “Only if you stop calling me Crappykawa.”

Apparently, he was blushing because his cheeks filled with fire. Hajime looked away. “I think that could be arranged,” he murmured. Yes, these nicknames were stupid but so was Oikawa and he had to let out his frustration somehow, didn’t he?

Toru laughed. He had this happy, bubbly laughter that never sounded completely honest, not even now. “I’m glad we can agree on that Haji-chan.”

“Urgh, I hate that even more.” Why couldn’t Stupidkawa just call him Hajime like his parents had named him?

“How unfortunate.” A grin, a chuckle, a little kiss on the cheek. Why did this feel to right? “I, for my part, love to be called Toru-chan.”

“Oh yeah? Not gonna happen.” Hajime pushed his… boyfriend?... off and continued on his way. “Do you want to stay for dinner? I’m sure mom won’t mind.”

“I would love to. Your mother’s food is amazing and I want to spend all the time I can with you.”

And he was back to his old, bubbly, stagy self. Did he really want to do this to himself and his poor heart? “Urgh, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.”

He was pulled into another kiss and that persuaded him very effectively and very quickly. His next slap did not land on Oikawa’s head but on the man’s ass.

**Author's Note:**

> Characters, of course, do not belong to be but to Furudate Haruichi. I'm just having fun with them and this is only for entertainment purposes.


End file.
